I Confess: I’m in love with Noni: Winona Ryder
Posted: Wednesday, December 29, 2010
by James Banner
(walks up to the podium) Hi everyone! (waves to crowd) Good morning. I am Winona Ryder, smart, beautiful, charming, unique, elegant, sophisticated, and a compelling young woman who adores myself dearly and has resurrected myself back into the limelight. I think that I am a very good person despite my transgression with stealing (looks into the camera with a smirk). I just love myself in films, such as Girl Interrupted, Edward Scissorhands, Dracula, and Alien Resurrected and etc. There are many others movie roles that I’ve played, hehe (looks at her notes).
I was born in Winona, Minnesota, go figure, and raised on a ranch and yes I loved it there, even though I was short on using electricity (plugs in her ipad just for a quick second to see if it’s getting power). Let’s face it, we were old-fashioned. I would have discovered fire (lights a cigarette for effect and takes two puffs. Lays it on the podium and it almost rolls to the ground), but was too rich to figure it out, so I let others handle that. Am I a really a journalist, reporter, or a writer? We’ll let you be the judge of that one (raises a poster in the air as if she is a ringside showgirl).
I bet you can’t guess what my trademark is? (looks around) Nope, try again. Yes, you with the microphone on row 3, seat 22, are a journalist too? That’s the wrong answer. That’s a shame. Nope. Try again. You sir, with the hat on backwards. Wow, you got it wrong too. The little guy here in the middle, what’s your name son? Giorgio Armani. OMG. I love you too. We’ve worked together before. He actually got it right. My fans, my fans, how they love me.
I have so much to tell and yet so little time. I thank you all for visiting and tell the aliens yes, I love them too. (waves to the camera and cutscene. Goes to commercial).
This article is intended for fun! No pun intended on the actress. I really do love her movies!
Reference - http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000213/bio
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Top-level comments on this article: (3 total)I like most of her films too, but I think you've captured the celebrity ego pretty well, James!Thanks. I was trying anticipate how she would act if she were actually speaking to a crowd of people. Do not attempt to hide your valuables at the last minute. They will dissappear...lol.
Whoa you just did it again! I did enjoy laughing at those parts where she just adores herself. :-) Thank you!Hehe, she is a riot. I was smiling as I was writing this one.
I see very few movies, and none from Wynona, but the article was very cute, I liked it.Hey, thanks. The article just came to me by a whim. Winona is a talented but not yet rated actress.
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