A Friendship Contract: Is it Real or Fake? How does it affect your relationship?
Posted: Wednesday, January 05, 2011
by James Banner
Hi, everyone and welcome to Channel X News! My skit today is about friendships. Bottom line, Who is your best friend? What does he or she mean to you? Would you be willing to sign a friendship contract if placed in front of you? How would you react? They’re simple questions, but will result in different answers. To be honest with you, I don’t know if I would sign one. I know, I know, it’s an iffy or borderline answer, but I think you understand where I’m coming from.
Undecided associates or friends are the ones you speak to on occasion and may or may not hang out with during ‘downtime.’ I have one high school friend that moved to the metro DC area several years ago, who could be considered in this category. We also used to work at the Industrial factory together back in Georgia. Since he has been here he calls every so often to hang out. He recently separated from his wife and I think that took a toll on him. He is still my friend, but not as close as we were in high school. Sure we talk about old times, but that’s in the past and never will be forgotten.
On the other hand, life can throw a curve ball if you’re not prepared for it. And no one is fully prepared for everything that happens to them. Even if you’re one of the lucky ones, life has its moments. Friendships can be forever if you allow it to. Of course, both have to reach a consensus to keep the friendship alive. One calls the other sometime and vice versa. It’s a win-win situation. You learn from each other's ideas and experiences.
Now don’t get me wrong, friends will have hard times just as other relationships. It’s not all honky dory, oh la la la everything is great and fine. You will have disagreements about different issues. That doesn’t mean they’re not your friend, they are just stating their opinion. I think people tend to get a little sensitive when it comes to disagreements with friends, which causes the relationship to flatten or cease. Both parties have to talk about it, out loud, preferably in person to help resolve whatever issue. You should be able to speak truthfully to your real friends without breaking off the friendship. So now you’re wondering what does a friendship contract provisions, here are a couple:
- Are you my ‘real’ friend? Circle Yes or No.
- I can borrow money from you with the notion that you’re my friend.
- Thou shall not break off the friendship due to disagreements.
- If I lick my fork and put it on your plate of food, you are required to give it to me. No questions asked.
- One cannot sleep with each other’s boyfriends or girlfriends unless given permission.
- You must hug me each time you see me, no matter who’s around.
- A compliment is necessary for each outing we go to, whether it’s McDonald’s or McCormick’s.
- We must communicate on a daily, weekly, monthly, and annual basis. Email, phone calls, texting, writing is not allowed. Face to face interaction only!
- If I jump off a table, then you must follow or we can’t play bingo anymore.
- Will you still be my friend to the end? Yes or No.
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More commentsPretty well spoken if I do say so myself. Friends should be able to be honest and that's the truth.The truth shall set you free, at least sometimes! It may or may not hurt, but that's the truth. Truth in my opinion is something that reveals a fact based on corresponding ideas or actions. A 'white' lie as the saying goes is almost always over-exaggerated on many occasions.
You are a funny guy. I'm still trying to get past the - One cannot sleep with each other’s boyfriends or girlfriends unless given permission. - Now that's some kind of friend. :) I'm a loyal friend and a friend for life. Friendships change and you may not see someone as often as you'd like, but for me it doesn't change my feelings for them. Good article James. (I'd use my own fork though.)Hehehe. The provisions are mainly for satorical humor, and I'm glad you thought it through on this one. The sleeping with the boyfriend/girlfriend provision is funny. I had to add it. I knew someone would react to it. I'm glad you are a true friend and won't sleep with no one else's man. Else's hmmm is that a word. Yes, I looked it up, yayyyyy!
Resounding yes! Definitely need my friends to follow me if I jump off the table :) Very entertaining, as always, you so tickle my sense of humor...Yes, the lower the table the better. I jumped off a table once and it was a wobbly one. The leg was loose and I was unaware. Need I say more.
The 'Ten Commandments' of Friendship? Ha ha ha! I always believe in honest friendship no doubt, but not a friendship bond. This one is sure funny. :-) Thank you.Hehe. I always produce something to keep the mind going. That's just my way of saying thanks.
Interesting article James but think I friendships are about people who care about each other as individuals, Who care about each other enough to tell them the truth, to stand by each other but not smother each other. I don't think a true relationship needs a contract.Good point! I saw this on Housewives of Atlanta and I thought this would be an interesting article. No real friendship needs a contract no matter how long you have known that friend. To me it's kind of childish, but Cynthia from Housewives of Atlanta did it willingly to NeNe. I was dying laughing off of this one.
It would be nice if some of my so called friends AND family would call me instead of me calling them.This one hits home. I almost always end up calling my family on occasion rather than vice versa. I hate when that happens.
If you are at the point where you need a contract for your friend, I'm thinking you need a new friend. Communication is key to a friendship and a contract is not a good way to get there (in my opinion.)A contract is out of the ordinary for a friendship. It's almost saying that you are going to join a cult and become bffs for life or something like that. No contract equates to no friend.
Hi James.I think agreeing to disagree is one of the most important requirements for a lasting friendship. When one or the other has to be "right" all the time, all bets are off.Realistically, I don't think friendship should require a contract. But you are definitely correct about it requiring good and frequent communication. Except of course, when one of the parties has to always be right. Then that's just a lecture and not a conversation. Been there, done that, no desire to do it again. :) Sorry, I'm taking this waaay too seriously. Loved your examples of a provisional contract!Anyway, I enjoyed your article.Hugs, DianneEven to mention a contract to a friend, they will become weary of you for obvious reasons: why do we need a contract? What did I say or do to you to have you go to this level? What will I have to give up or submit to, to be your friend? etc.
He/she will probably not talk to you again, unless they are willing to sign on the dotted line...lol.
All in all, a contract complicates things rather than settle it. It's a borderline decision to even mention this to an actual friend. They will give an "I don't get it" look to you.
"To be honest with you, I don’t know if I would sign one. "Neither would I, but you got my attention with the Friendship Contract idea, James. It would reduce friendship to legalism, a requirement list. And where's the friendliness and fun in that? ~mogama~It takes the fun out of just being friends, no strings attached. I should make one for my friend and see how far I get with it. Maybe or maybe not. He may think I have lost my marbles or think it's childish going back to those elementary school days.
I like the provisions provided (smile). Good article, James.Thanks Ronyae. I will keep that into consideration.
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