Michael Vick’s injury Cinnamon Toast Crunch Football Team Interview with Dog
Posted: Friday, January 14, 2011
by James Banner
As my brain rattled inside my helmet, I felt no pain. As my shoulders twisted sideways while in midair, I felt no pain. As my hips and legs went in the other direction, I felt some pain. Before I suddenly crashed to the ground with a huge impact, I felt all pain. My left foot went dangling off somewhere flexible as can be. So you see the pain begin. It was excruciating. My vacation begins now. As I stand here before you in the presence of my enemies, I hear no evil, just feeling the pain.
My career in football was outstanding. If you looked up my name, BOOM there it is …or should I say Whoop there it is - on Google, I would most likely be the second name on the dropdown list. Go ahead and try it. I can wait. It only takes a quick second or two.
Oh yea, my pictures are cool too. I know, you like them.. (grins). I used to race my dogs to keep them in shape. Of course, I always won. Lol. You know if they were misbehaving, I would pour hot sauce on their tongue to get’em going. It works every time. They would be flopping all over the place. No WATER in sight for them to drink. I know. I’m bad.
My coach Captain Crunch of the Cinnamon Toast Football League has given me another opportunity to redeem myself. He wants me to pay all his bills for a clean slate or host the BET awards. Now I’m guessing I would be better off hosting the Lucky Charms commercial. They’re magically de-li-cious. As my career advances, I will capture the coyote in those darn wild coyote cartoons. That’s my next goal. I can sure try (sips on his Gatorade).
I brought a special guest with me today, (a pit-bull comes from behind the curtains) and his name is Vick. Yes I named him Vick. What’s wrong with that name? (looks around). Well, anyway, I want to crown Vick for being such a special dog. Yes you are, (pats the dog’s head). Good doggie. Well I’m currently running out of time and I hope this will settle my dog debt days. Peace and farewell for now (his dog barks as if he wants a new guardian).
This Article has been viewed 623 times. (Not updated in real-time.)
Top-level comments on this article: (3 total)Love your work James. Haven't seen Mike's commercials or his pleas for forgiveness, but were I a dog I think I'd rather take my chances with a different owner. Not that he's much worse than a lot of others that are certainly allowed to own them, but after his playing days I'd be wondering if he might want to use me to get his old business going again.:-( Good day.LOL.... I haven't seen anything pertaining to the doggie dog days of Michael Vick anymore. Every now and then you will something about it, but only a small portion. Call him up and see what happens.
Interesting piece again. :-) I just have to smile when I read your articles. Thank you.DMYes, a smile is all it takes. I am that good....Lol.
Great article, James, you've really captured a personality here. I'd never heard of him, so I followed your advice and Googled him. Yuck!Google knows all. It can take you to the beach, movies, video games, 90210, Melrose Place, Spiderman, Glee, TrueBlood, and all types of media. It can take you to other places too, that I won't mention.
We want your comments! If you can read this, you don't have javascript enabled, so you can't use this comment system. Please enable javascript.